One is not enough to rock
I’m sorry but it’s true
You cannot rock if you’re just one
I hate to break it to you
So how are you supposed to rock
How many do you need
To dig a hole in fertile soil
And plant a rockin’ seed?

Should you be three like Rush
Or four like the Pixies
Or five like New Kids on the Block?
Come listen, children close to me, you see…
IT ONLY TAKES TWO TO ROCK


Back when the world was new
People crawled out of the sand
They looked around and said
We’ve got to start a rocking band
So they gathered up guitars
Keyboards and horns and basses
What a waste! They never knew
The power of two could melt their faces

Whoa-whoa!
I’ll get right to the point
If you think that two can’t tear up the joint
Then you’re in for a shock
Because it only takes two to rock!


And then one fateful night
When the planets all aligned
The Gods of Rock decreed
That these two souls must be combined
Then the Earth reversed its course
As Matt and Jill they joined their forces
The moon eclipsed, the seas caught fire
(Trust us, dude, we checked our sources)

Whoa-whoa!
Now here’s some good advice
If they say “I bet they’re soft and nice”
Take that bet – it’s a lock
Because it only takes two to rock!

BRIDGE
So take a number all you ladies
Come take a ride in our Mercedes
We’ll whip it good just like the 80s
Come on cutie (come on cutie)
Shake that booty (do your duty)
Come on sweetie (come on sweetie)
Sign my treaty!
Break it down, Kevin Niemi-style…

So you see, my friends, it only takes two to rock.

But if you are only one, does that mean you should give it up and resign yourself to a life of never rocking, at most James Tayloring, or perhaps Tracy Chapmaning?

(Yes. Yes it does.)

But should the day come that one becomes two, and if the gods smile on the two of you just as they smiled on us that fateful night, then perhaps one day…one magical day…you will be blessed with the power to rock /nearly/ as hard as the hardest rocking acoustic dork-rock power duo in all the land…

HOT BREAKFAST!

1 2 3 4!
Whoa – Whoa!
So now you know it’s true
Whoa – whoa!
We did the math for you
Whoa – whoa!
Whatever you’re into
When they tell you only big bands will do
Now you know that’s a crock
Because it only takes two to rock!
(Only takes two) Yes it only takes two to rock
(Only takes two) Yes it only takes two
Only two, me and you
You and me, two not three
And not four, and no more
Only two, that’ll do
Because it only takes two to rock!